Postings from my recent travels in southeast Asia, Italy and England. As usual I found that travel reveals more about oneself than about ones destination.

Sunday, March 10, 2002

BeerLao and BusLao: A Treatise on Two Major Lao Cultural Icons

Hello from (cool) Laos!

I don't know what is happening but they are having a cold snap here (and I am loving it). The temperature is probably not much more than about 20 degrees Celsius. All the falang (except for me it seems) are digging out their sweaters and the poor Lao people are so cold their teeth are chattering. One poor young monk I was chatting with this morning was covered in goose bumps - there's not much warmth in that orange sheet that is standard monkwear I guess (the photo is just an example and not one I took).

I hope you enjoy the following dissertation (tongue in cheek - don't worry it shouldn't be heavy reading) on Lao cultural icons.

Next message will be from Luang Prabang where I'll head off on Monday. Tomorrow - international women's day - I will celebrate by having lunch for 20,000 kip ($1 US = 9,525 kip) at Cafe Colombo. They are opening tomorrow and will be having a special opening lunch buffet. It is Sri Lankan and Indian food and I expect it will be very yummy. My other splurge is going to be a lot more substantial - in the pursuit of the ultimate buffet in South East Asia (under $20 - for $40 US you can have brunch in Bangkok that features a foie gras station and other culinary excesses) I am going to dine at the Settha Palace on Sunday.

Their $8 brunch features access to their swimming pool - I hope it heats up a little to make it worthwhile.

I figure I am entitled to this treat after doing the unusual yesterday (you know me - I can always find something different to do) - giving blood. It was very sanitary and good fun. And I got a lovely Lao red cross t-shirt to boot. And cookies. And water and drinking yogurt (kind of like Yop - do we still have that in Canada). And tomorrow I go to pick up my donor card. This card entitles me to blood at 20,000 kip per unit should I need it - if you are a non-donor you pay 70,000 kip per unit. You can imagine that to the average Lao that would be incredibly prohibitively expensive. Despite all the problems with our blood system in Canada we still have a lot to be thankful for.

Bye for now.

Susan

BeerLao and BusLao: A Treatise on Two Major Lao Cultural Icons

BeerLao - NOUN - a very drinkable beer that comes in three modes - draft, cans and bottles. Expect to pay about 7,000 kip for a liter of draft, 4,000 kip for a 450 ml can and 6,000 kip for a 750 ml bottle.

BusLao - NOUN - a barely bearable mode of transportation in Laos that comes in three styles - the truckbus (a 5-ton truck that has had narrow, uncomfortable - about the same width and comfort level as a balance beam - bench seats installed in the back). This mode is analogous to the draft BeerLao in that passengers are relatively free-form within the vehicle as there is a large open area between the back of the truck and the last seat. This area can be used for cargo - sacks of rice, chickens trussed 6 to a bunch or plastic geegaws - but there is also a bench seat at the very back that can be used for passengers.

Next is the statebus (analogous to the canned BeerLao in that it is about as roadworthy as a tin can, the noise it makes as it rattles along the road is similar to that of a tin can being dragged behind a vehicle and finally because it brings to mind the canned sardine metaphor).

The final mode is the aircon(tra)bus - I call it this because the aircon is so seldom used. This mode is analogous to the glass bottle of beer in its modernity and sleekness. Prices vary for BusLao but expect to pay anywhere between 500-2,500 kip per hour of travelling pleasure (? !).

AMBIENT TEMPERATURE:

BeerLao is best enjoyed at a temperature cold enough to make your teeth ache when you drink it. If you stick out your tongue and it adheres to the can of BeerLao then it is at a perfect temperature - unfortunately that is unlikely to happen anywhere in Lao but one can always hope. However most of the time it is served at a perfectly adequate coldness.

BusLao is best enjoyed at a temperature of between 15-20 degrees Celsius unfortunately that is about as likely to happen as snow in Laos in April. Unlike other countries that actually use the bus airconditioning feature here in Lao my admittedly limited research (one trip on an air conditioned bus) seems to indicate that the manual air conditioning feature (open windows) is used instead of the electronic one (that tiny switch on the dash that the driver seems loathe to flick).

Since Lao people are naturally accustomed to the heat and in fact seem to have a morbid fear of coolness (except when it applies to BeerLao) unless you are in a window seat and controlling the opening and closure of the window you may find yourself sweating mightily while everyone else on the bus (except for the other falang) are as cool as the BeerLao you are imagining quaffing.

EXTERIOR APPEARANCE

BeerLao of course varies in appearance depending on the mode you obtain it in. The bottled BeerLao has the most in common with BusLao since no matter what the appearance of the bus at the beginning of the journey by the end of the trip it will doubtless be coated in red Lao dust and most closely resemble the dark brown glass of the BeerLao bottle.

PSYCHOLOGICAL AND PHYSICAL EFFECTS :

BeerLao has the typical effects common to beer the world over - one makes you happy and relaxed, two makes you either maudlin or manic depending on your temperament and three makes you nauseated (unless you are Australian, German or a member of the seemingly large South East Asian I'm-only-here-for-the-beer travelling falang contingent). Also be warned that I agree with one Brit's labelling of BeerLao as "windy" and that the unitiated (or simply out of practice like myself) may find over-indulgence leads to a nasty groggy feeling and possibly a small but virulent hangover.

BusLao has none of the laudatory physical and psychological effects of BeerLao unless of course you are a sadomasochist. An added detrimental feature is that unlike BeerLao BusLao does not maintain the same potency throughout your experience.
For example, my statebus experience seemed fine in the beginning. There were only 2 of us sitting on the 5.5 foot long bench seat, the road was good and the rest of the bus (i.e. the aisle and the front area where the driver and door are) was relatively empty. But as we progressed northward we detoured frequently off the paved road as it was under construction and bumped along a dusty trail that filled the bus (and covered all of us) with a thin film of orangey red dusty.

A little further along the road another person was squeezed on to the bench seat and the fellow next to me decided that he must periodically spit out the window which invariably involved leaning over me to reach the window and showering my legs and lap with spittle. At one point he chuckled (but had the decency to look somewhat sheepish) while wiping drops of saliva off my bare knees (pretty forward of him I thought).

The final indignity was that being in the window seat meant that at every stop I was leant over and jabbed by Lao elbows and knees as my fellow passengers puchased food from the roadside vendors. Perhaps the Lao have no faith in their transport (probably well-founded) and are stocking up in case of a breakdown strands them by the side of the road for an extended period. They certainly take consumerism on wheels to a new level.

You position in BusLao also affects your experience - what feels like a gentle bump in the front seat is enough to put you into orbit if you are at the back. Conversely you will find that BeerLao maintains the same effect no matter where in the bottle you are drinking from.

CONCLUSION :

For the foreign tourist (and doubtless for Lao folk as well) it seems obvious that BeerLao is a much more enjoyable cultural feature than BusLao. Unfortunately BeerLao will not transport you from one location to another (at least not physically) and therefore BusLao seems like an inevitable evil.

An obvious research question is what about combining BeerLao and BusLao and using the positive attributes of the former to counter the negative effects of the latter. I personally have not attempted this method and given the "windy" nature of BeerLao and the bumpiness and heat of BusLao I predict that this method could lead to disatrous consequences.

And besides - this experiment sounds like a subject for another scholarly treatise. Do I have any volunteers who are willing to gather research material for this treatise? Simply make your way to Laos and I will administer both the BeerLao and BusLao in carefully regulated doses.